Christmas Trivia.

[a]Is the scary sight of Victoria Bekham's skinny, leather clad legs and wildly gyrating buttocks going to make me chaff at the bit to do my Christmas shopping at Tesco?
[b]If you had her sort of money would you really be spending it in Tesco?
[c]She doesn’t really walk like that - does she?

And;
[1]When cooking the turkey, how many of us have:
(a) Forgotten to remove the giblets in their sturdy plastic bag.
(b) Not allowed enough time to defrost it.
(c) Undercooked it.
(d) Overcooked it.
(e) Forgotten to stuff it.
[2]Spent Christmas day constantly dressing and undressing Action Man or a doll,
because the manufacturers made the ends of the sleeves too small to go over the
stupid things hands.
[3]Listened to howls of frustration for the whole of Christmas morning because
side clips on a pram cover, or a catch on a bag was too stiff for her little
fingers and she wanted to do it HERSELF!
[4]How many of you have:
(a) Discovered a leak in a water pipe as you’re about to eat Christmas dinner.
(b) Had a row about a water leak.
(c) Chucked the Christmas dinner in the bin.
(d) Torn down the decorations.
(e) Retired to bed for the rest of the day.
[5]Spent Boxing Day propping up a ceiling that’s collapsed due to a water leak.
[6]Spent the afternoon and a chunk of Boxing Day evening in Casualty waiting for
all the nuts, fruit, chocolate, lunch plus pudding your off spring has tucked
away to digest, because he fell off his new roller skates and needs an
anaesthetic to set his fractured arm.