So, England's finally dragged itself into the 21st century. Opticians are opening on Sundays now and in a few hours I shall be forking out an inflated price for another pair of glasses. No one will convince me opticians and while we're at it dentists, aren't rip off merchants.
I miss the weekend being distinctly separate, when you had to relax because you didn't have much choice. I remember the bliss of not having to get ready for school; the sound of a joint of lamb sizzling in the oven, the sweet yet sharp smell of Gran's home made mint sauce permeating the kitchen and once we'd eaten, sitting around the fire laughing at Tony Hancock and Frankie Howerd on the radio.
And if that little trip down memory lane doesn't date me nothing will!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Not in my Dotage - Yet.
It's rather awe inspiring how, when you hit retirement age and without a single admission of being a pensioner ever passing your lips, winter fuel allowance application forms arrive, the pensions people bombard you with all sorts of forms and information and a glossy magazine for retirees drops through the letterbox.
The only thing that’s been missing is a congratulations card from the Conservative party.
As it was free I had a quick look through the magazine, but there was little that I could relate to. Glamorous mid forties models extolling holidays abroad in luxurious locations, an informative, best value feature on hospitals and what they offer, and how Camilla has her face made up.
Thrilling reading for some you might say, but it’s a far cry from going to the chemist to get your prescription, shuddering at the price of hair dye, returning it quickly to the shelf and then coming home to do the washing up.
These days as always when you open any newspaper or magazine, a myriad of brightly coloured leaflets fell out, including a little home shopping catalogue for the elderly.
Looking a bit more down to earth than the glossy magazine, it only has sixteen pages and is printed on cheap paper. Cunning of them making the worm of temptation look more within reach of our shallow pockets, but after checking the items for sale, I'm glad to say hubby and I aren't in need of most of it.... Yet.
When we do sink into our final dotage, it's comforting to know we can purchase an Easy Ear Cleaner, but if wax isn't the problem a Super Mini Ear will restore our hearing as good as new. There is also a Ceramic Posture Support with Magnets; Clip on Magnifiers; a Re-usable Incontinence Shield and a Knee Strap. A 'must have' Portable Urinal for him, a Portable Bidet for her, or how about a Magno Massager Seat? I should think the seat is worth its weight in gold after you've developed cramp trying to use the urinal or the bidet, without anyone seeing what you’re doing.
It was heartening to see a few beauty items including toenail softening cream, but the best buy of all and subtly illustrated with a pair of bright red, pouting lips, is a cream called Maxi Lips that will improve the texture and outline of lips and fill them out.
Two pages further on they are selling a blood pressure monitor. In my opinion they should have put the monitor right next to the lip cream because they are leaving themselves wide open to being sued, but there you go.
And then, finally, if you think it can’t get any worse, while you are waiting for your old man’s blood pressure to go down after he's clocked your new sexy Maxi Lips, you can amuse yourself de-lousing the cats with an electric flea comb.
It's all go when you're a pensioner.
The only thing that’s been missing is a congratulations card from the Conservative party.
As it was free I had a quick look through the magazine, but there was little that I could relate to. Glamorous mid forties models extolling holidays abroad in luxurious locations, an informative, best value feature on hospitals and what they offer, and how Camilla has her face made up.
Thrilling reading for some you might say, but it’s a far cry from going to the chemist to get your prescription, shuddering at the price of hair dye, returning it quickly to the shelf and then coming home to do the washing up.
These days as always when you open any newspaper or magazine, a myriad of brightly coloured leaflets fell out, including a little home shopping catalogue for the elderly.
Looking a bit more down to earth than the glossy magazine, it only has sixteen pages and is printed on cheap paper. Cunning of them making the worm of temptation look more within reach of our shallow pockets, but after checking the items for sale, I'm glad to say hubby and I aren't in need of most of it.... Yet.
When we do sink into our final dotage, it's comforting to know we can purchase an Easy Ear Cleaner, but if wax isn't the problem a Super Mini Ear will restore our hearing as good as new. There is also a Ceramic Posture Support with Magnets; Clip on Magnifiers; a Re-usable Incontinence Shield and a Knee Strap. A 'must have' Portable Urinal for him, a Portable Bidet for her, or how about a Magno Massager Seat? I should think the seat is worth its weight in gold after you've developed cramp trying to use the urinal or the bidet, without anyone seeing what you’re doing.
It was heartening to see a few beauty items including toenail softening cream, but the best buy of all and subtly illustrated with a pair of bright red, pouting lips, is a cream called Maxi Lips that will improve the texture and outline of lips and fill them out.
Two pages further on they are selling a blood pressure monitor. In my opinion they should have put the monitor right next to the lip cream because they are leaving themselves wide open to being sued, but there you go.
And then, finally, if you think it can’t get any worse, while you are waiting for your old man’s blood pressure to go down after he's clocked your new sexy Maxi Lips, you can amuse yourself de-lousing the cats with an electric flea comb.
It's all go when you're a pensioner.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
He Huffed and he Puffed.
Hubby has high blood pressure amongst other things, but isn't very good at sticking to a fitness schedule. However, having totally chilled out for two weeks over Christmas apart from lifting a knife, fork and spoon to his mouth, his ever expanding stomach got the better of him and so a couple of weeks ago, he decided to ride a bike to work.
After just one day his knees and hips hurt so much they kept him awake all night and were still giving him gyp four days later.
'I think I'll try walking,' he said. So he's been taking a brisk walk around the block and walks to work one day a week.
Today was his day off, but as I wanted the weekend papers, he said he'd take a brisk walk and pick them up for me. Meanwhile I was giving the bathroom a good scrubbing out.
Fifteen minutes later he came in, red cheeked and puffing gently. 'That got my heart rate up.' he said, while I nodded mutely as I hung on the the sink, legs shaking and heart thundering.
I waved the cleaning cloth at him and gasped, 'If you want a really good work out,' which is when he suddenly remembered he'd forgotten to buy some new strings for his guitar and disappeared for the next couple of hours....In the car.
Hubby has high blood pressure amongst other things, but isn't very good at sticking to a fitness schedule. However, having totally chilled out for two weeks over Christmas apart from lifting a knife, fork and spoon to his mouth, his ever expanding stomach got the better of him and so a couple of weeks ago, he decided to ride a bike to work.
After just one day his knees and hips hurt so much they kept him awake all night and were still giving him gyp four days later.
'I think I'll try walking,' he said. So he's been taking a brisk walk around the block and walks to work one day a week.
Today was his day off, but as I wanted the weekend papers, he said he'd take a brisk walk and pick them up for me. Meanwhile I was giving the bathroom a good scrubbing out.
Fifteen minutes later he came in, red cheeked and puffing gently. 'That got my heart rate up.' he said, while I nodded mutely as I hung on the the sink, legs shaking and heart thundering.
I waved the cleaning cloth at him and gasped, 'If you want a really good work out,' which is when he suddenly remembered he'd forgotten to buy some new strings for his guitar and disappeared for the next couple of hours....In the car.
As I've been having some success in submitting stories to Best of British Magazine, I thought I'd try to find a photo to accompany my latest offering.
I've had a Brother printer/scanner/copier now for over a year and hadn't put any photographs through their tests with it, so this morning as I was rummaging in the shoe box where I keep the family snaps, I thought it would be a good time to begin.
The photographs I thought I might be able to use were tiny little black and white snaps taken with a box brownie, with most of them the worst for wear including the odd tea stain. But then we're talking over sixty years ago, so it's not surprising. I'm looking equally battered.
Anyway, I loaded up one of mum and me in the river when I was around three years old --- clicked the necessary buttons and it came out superimposed on a photo of hubby and a friend. Strange! I tried again without a photo in the scanner. There was Bill again. So I tried to find the print record for the scanner. Couldn't!
It took me six frustating goes before I thought to check the inside lid of the scanner and there was a photograph that had evidently, in a previous life, been stuck in an album with everlasting tacky glue.
And the photographs? They came out brilliantly.
I've had a Brother printer/scanner/copier now for over a year and hadn't put any photographs through their tests with it, so this morning as I was rummaging in the shoe box where I keep the family snaps, I thought it would be a good time to begin.
The photographs I thought I might be able to use were tiny little black and white snaps taken with a box brownie, with most of them the worst for wear including the odd tea stain. But then we're talking over sixty years ago, so it's not surprising. I'm looking equally battered.
Anyway, I loaded up one of mum and me in the river when I was around three years old --- clicked the necessary buttons and it came out superimposed on a photo of hubby and a friend. Strange! I tried again without a photo in the scanner. There was Bill again. So I tried to find the print record for the scanner. Couldn't!
It took me six frustating goes before I thought to check the inside lid of the scanner and there was a photograph that had evidently, in a previous life, been stuck in an album with everlasting tacky glue.
And the photographs? They came out brilliantly.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Hell, Fire and Damnation!
In the past wrong-doers were faced with hell, fire and damnation, but today’s Christian churches seem to have dropped that concept.
Before I lost faith completely I used to quite like the idea of the Buddhist religion’s belief in reincarnation, where how you live each life dictates where exactly in the animal chain [and I believe we are part of the animal chain,] you are re-born.
Last night as I watched cookery programmes on TV, I decided that if Buddhists are right, then there can be no worse punishment for some of today’s sickos, than being re-born as a lobster.
Not only are they boiled alive, but I was sickened to see a chef push a stake through a live lobster’s body in order to stop its tail curling up during its death throes when it was thrown into the pot…..Merely to make it look nicer on the plate you understand.
Yuk.
Before I lost faith completely I used to quite like the idea of the Buddhist religion’s belief in reincarnation, where how you live each life dictates where exactly in the animal chain [and I believe we are part of the animal chain,] you are re-born.
Last night as I watched cookery programmes on TV, I decided that if Buddhists are right, then there can be no worse punishment for some of today’s sickos, than being re-born as a lobster.
Not only are they boiled alive, but I was sickened to see a chef push a stake through a live lobster’s body in order to stop its tail curling up during its death throes when it was thrown into the pot…..Merely to make it look nicer on the plate you understand.
Yuk.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
I can't wait --- Not!
As you read this you would be forgiven for thinking I’m obsessed with food, food manufacturers and supermarkets, and I suppose I am - now.
It’s an accusation I would have vehemently denied a few years ago, but as you get older and the odd ailment, or threat of one looms ever closer, you suddenly become extremely aware of what you eat.
It’s then, if you harbour the ambition if not to live forever, to receive a telegram from the queen, that you begin to recognize and then resist the cynical machinations encouraging you to buy and over indulge in food that is bad for you.
You find yourself peering at the small print on the back of products, taking more notice of what ingredients and artificial additives it contains, than what the food looks like on the package and whether you fancy it for your tea or not.
When you’ve deprived yourself of all your favourite foods but it hasn't lowered your cholesterol nearly enough. And the doctor’s peered at you over the top of his glasses, taken in your less than sylph like figure and increased the dose, it’s doubly discouraging when well meaning friends begin to tell you all about alternative supplements that will make ever such a difference.
In desperation you search the internet for advice and treatment both chemical and natural for your ailments, although I wouldn’t advise it if you have a weak constitution or lean towards being a hypochondriac.
Believe me, the search will produce thousands of diagnoses and if you're dead unlucky and having a bad hair day, your symptoms are sure to match some nasty, fatal disease.
But don’t worry. After your panic attack, when you type Depression into the search engine there are shed loads of remedies that will cheer you up. They’re particularly helpful when you end up in debt due to all the money you’ve spent trying to keep one step ahead of your doctor.
Now I read that a change is afoot.
Scientists are formulating a whole raft of chemicals that can be added to food to make us healthier, including lowering our cholesterol even more than those expensive spreads and yoghurts already do.
They have perfected one additive that makes your food taste as if it has plenty of added salt for flavour, when it doesn’t.
Eventually, instead of shopping for organic alternatives and worrying about all the artificial preservatives, colours and unsaturated fats we’re taking in, we shall soon be eagerly snapping up food that contains all the above and the more the merrier.
Ice cream is one of the products they are going to target. I guess the boffins know how much we all pine for an illicit dish of raspberry ripple, so it’s been selected as an ideal food to lead us into their idea of healthy eating.
Can you imagine when they begin to advertise all these miracle foods on TV with experts advising that we eat at least four bags of Crisps a day to lower blood pressure, or urging us to eat Hamburgers with a double helping of fries - the natural way to lower cholesterol - in between re-runs of The Fat Clinic.
Imagine rummaging around in the deep freeze cabinet for a triple size tub of ice cream. Guilt? you’ll cry; what’s that when it’s home? Because, instead of trying to work out the calorific differences between plain Vanilla over Nougat Chocolate Chip with added Pecan Nuts, you’ll be righteously deciding whether to buy a tub of yummy, cholesterol busting, eat ‘til it’s coming out of your ears, or a tub of fruity Sorbet, containing the latest blood sugar reducer.
I can’t wait. Not!
It’s an accusation I would have vehemently denied a few years ago, but as you get older and the odd ailment, or threat of one looms ever closer, you suddenly become extremely aware of what you eat.
It’s then, if you harbour the ambition if not to live forever, to receive a telegram from the queen, that you begin to recognize and then resist the cynical machinations encouraging you to buy and over indulge in food that is bad for you.
You find yourself peering at the small print on the back of products, taking more notice of what ingredients and artificial additives it contains, than what the food looks like on the package and whether you fancy it for your tea or not.
When you’ve deprived yourself of all your favourite foods but it hasn't lowered your cholesterol nearly enough. And the doctor’s peered at you over the top of his glasses, taken in your less than sylph like figure and increased the dose, it’s doubly discouraging when well meaning friends begin to tell you all about alternative supplements that will make ever such a difference.
In desperation you search the internet for advice and treatment both chemical and natural for your ailments, although I wouldn’t advise it if you have a weak constitution or lean towards being a hypochondriac.
Believe me, the search will produce thousands of diagnoses and if you're dead unlucky and having a bad hair day, your symptoms are sure to match some nasty, fatal disease.
But don’t worry. After your panic attack, when you type Depression into the search engine there are shed loads of remedies that will cheer you up. They’re particularly helpful when you end up in debt due to all the money you’ve spent trying to keep one step ahead of your doctor.
Now I read that a change is afoot.
Scientists are formulating a whole raft of chemicals that can be added to food to make us healthier, including lowering our cholesterol even more than those expensive spreads and yoghurts already do.
They have perfected one additive that makes your food taste as if it has plenty of added salt for flavour, when it doesn’t.
Eventually, instead of shopping for organic alternatives and worrying about all the artificial preservatives, colours and unsaturated fats we’re taking in, we shall soon be eagerly snapping up food that contains all the above and the more the merrier.
Ice cream is one of the products they are going to target. I guess the boffins know how much we all pine for an illicit dish of raspberry ripple, so it’s been selected as an ideal food to lead us into their idea of healthy eating.
Can you imagine when they begin to advertise all these miracle foods on TV with experts advising that we eat at least four bags of Crisps a day to lower blood pressure, or urging us to eat Hamburgers with a double helping of fries - the natural way to lower cholesterol - in between re-runs of The Fat Clinic.
Imagine rummaging around in the deep freeze cabinet for a triple size tub of ice cream. Guilt? you’ll cry; what’s that when it’s home? Because, instead of trying to work out the calorific differences between plain Vanilla over Nougat Chocolate Chip with added Pecan Nuts, you’ll be righteously deciding whether to buy a tub of yummy, cholesterol busting, eat ‘til it’s coming out of your ears, or a tub of fruity Sorbet, containing the latest blood sugar reducer.
I can’t wait. Not!
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